Dates

So I don't date. Never have, and sometimes it really seems as though I never will. Dating has always been something that confused me. I never really understood how people could like someone and then have that person like them back. It seems like something that is so unlikely to happen. And for me it has been. Any time I've ever liked someone, it never seemed like they thought of me as anything more than a little sister. And any time a guy has been interested in me, it would always be someone that I had no interest in. I can never win.

So lately I have been thinking about dating online. My best friend has met her boyfriend using ok cupid, and they have been happily together for several years. I still feel very hesistant about dating even if it's online. I know that a first date will be incredibly awkward and that keeps me from wanting to even try. I am definitely the most awkward person in the world when it comes to being around someone that I don't know very well. Turn that person into a guy and the awkwardness really quadruples.

I know that I am a cool person, but I have no idea how to act like the cool person that I know I am when I am around someone who I might be attracted to. I can't even fathom someone liking me because of how weird I act when I am in romantic situations. I'm going to be alone forever aren't I?